My Liquid Energy Experience

I began using multi-vitamins around two years ago. My weapon of choice was a generic multi-vitamin from Target that my mother bought me. After 6 months, my friend told me about his father’s multi-vitamin company. I googled his dad’s company and, according to Google, it didn’t exist. My body is a temple and I do not put things in my temple that Google hasn’t heard of. That is, I didn’t until he told me that since we’re friends it would be HALF PRICE.

I began taking my new multi-vitamin the next day, laughing at the commoners who paid full price. My gleeful feeling of superiority lasted until a voyage to the restroom. In there, my eyes informed me that I was excreting a neon green colored urine. This instantly warranted a call to my “friend”. In this phone call, I accosted him with unflattering comparisons to celebrities, a questioning of sexual preferences, and overall language unfit for a country club. A few minutes later, he informed me that he did not leverage my love of savings into the perfect assassination. Apparently, when your body reaches its desired amount of water-soluble vitamins, it removes the extra nutrients from your body through radioactive waste colored urine.

Toilets beware

As an intelligent reader, I’m sure you understand the purpose of this story. Taking Liquid Energy Online products avoids damage to your health. I haphazardly took two multi-vitamins and the following occurred: an assassination attempt on my life, a damaged friendship, and urine discoloration. Six months later, I came to my senses and tried Liquid Energy Online’s AM Program.

Liquid Energy Online’s AM program consists of BioFuel, Aloe Plus, Get-N-Go Plus, and BioAlert. The company has a Google friendly website and the product was reasonably priced. I’m down. After looking at the orange-yellow color of the drink, I was fearful the product was a victim to the worst marketing mistake in history: mango flavoring. I thought, “I hope this doesn’t take like mango. I hate mangos. Who honestly thinks, ‘this is good, but with mango flavoring it could be great!’” No one, that’s who. To those readers with functional taste buds, there is absolutely no mango taste in this product! I would describe the taste but I do not have a clever analogy so you will have to purchase the product for yourself by clicking here #subtlemarketingattempt

After three sips, I finished the AM Program. Instantly, a tingly sensation took over my body. I gave my drink a look of betrayal, but the drink ignored it and continued to act like an inanimate object. The tingly sensation appeared to be the drink’s contents lowering my stress levels (probably caused by mangophobia [trademarked]) subsiding. Without mangos to bring me down, I felt energized and focused. I stopped glaring at the clock, trying to move time forward, and resumed working! Within the next hour, my productivity, which normally declines after 2 PM, increased dramatically. I became so focused on my work that I may have actually moved time forward and when I checked the clock it was almost time to go! Note: There are currently no scientific reports proving that this product will give you the power to move time forward, although there is an unscientific report (this one) that says it will. Play the numbers people.

Time flying is much creeper in person

There is no question this product is awesome, but the final test remained. Is it practical? I boldly walked into the bathroom to find out. To my delight, this product is bathroom approved! The BioCellular Micellization, which you can learn about here, caused me to absorb all the nutrients keeping me from flushing more money down the toilet. Thank you Liquid Energy!

I carry an approval stamp with me at all times