My Liquid Energy Experience Part 2

I am running. I do not know why I am running but I know it is essential that I do not stop. My memory returns as a giant robotic dragon, firing explosive Care Bears at me, emerges from the cornfield I’m fleeing from. Fearlessly, I decide that this bully will not ruin my life with his intimidation tactics and I will confront this steel beast. A quick glance behind me inspires an equally heroic alternative: hiding. I courageously dive into a conveniently placed ditch and hope the dragon passes me by. While bravely hiding in this ditch, I have a worrisome epiphany. A robotic dragon that can utilize explosive Care Bear technology most likely possesses infra-red technology as well. I hear a buzzing noise above my head and, with my eyes closed, peak up to meet my doom. I open my eyes to come face to face with the cold, dead, eyes of my alarm clock. I curse loudly and jump out of my bed with an abundance of panic. The alarm clock reads 8:20 AM.

When they stop caring, they're just bears

I do not normally react this way when I view my alarm clock, but today was an exception. The reason for this odd behavior is that I made a contract with my alarm clock the previous night. The contract explicitly states that when I set the alarm clock for 7:30 AM and the alarm goes off at that time. Unfortunately, my alarm clock did not seem to honor our agreement as it smugly displays the time. I have to leave for work in 10 minutes.

Alarmingly evil

Guided by fear, I threw on clothing and drove at speeds that make a mockery of highway safety laws. I curse and tailgate any car with the audacity to drive anywhere near the speed limit and pretend that an extra 5 miles per hour will suddenly make my arrival to work on time. During this charade, my stomach voices its displeasure at not receiving its morning tribute of delicious cornflakes. The rest of my body joins in the revolt by issuing a series of yawns, a demand to return to bed. I fight back by viciously shaking of the head, which is not only ineffective but also gives me a slight headache. By the time my head stops hurting, I have reached the office.

Deliciousness Personified

At the office, the A.M. Program sat in the refrigerator for me. I remembered the energy that I experienced last time and decided to see if it could quell my body’s uprising. A few manly sips later, the A.M Program was consumed. This batch tasted much better than the previous drink and instantly sedated my stomach’s demands for cornflakes. After a few minutes, the A.M Program traveled throughout my body and put down the drowsiness uprising. It even went a step further and even replaced this drowsiness with energy! My body was saved thanks to this product! I braced my body for the “tingles“(I am told this is a niacin flush from the B-Vitamins) but they were nowhere to be found. I attribute the lack of tingles because of the superior defense my body offers now that I armed it with proper nutrition. I believe I have officially become impervious to harm. We will test this theory later. The rest of the day I was energetic and productive. With a decent taste and no tingles, I would say that today was the day I started believing in this product. I hope one day my belief in Alex Smith will mimic my faith in this drink.

Vitamin A

The pride resonated off of the smiles of the proud parents whose child prepared to accept his prestigious award. Soon he will have shed the title of ordinary vitamin and become a heroic figure in the vitamin community. While his friends goofed off, he remained dedicated to his goals of improving eyesight and clearing skin and for his hard work the vitamin naming committee is preparing to present him the highest honor in its fictional history. He is to be given the apex of all pseudonyms, Vitamin A. Before he could receive such a high honor, this vitamin decided he had to prove himself once more. He decided to start a fight with the most dangerous kids on campus, the Cancers. The soon to be Vitamin A went up to a member of Cancer named Stomach and pushed him. A crowd quickly gathered as the showdown began.

If Ryu was a vitamin, he would be Vitamin A

Who is Vitamin A:
Vitamin A began life as a fat-soluble nutrient that had a passion for ophthalmology (eyes). His contributions to the eyes are so great that neglecting Vitamin A can lead to poor vision and if left untreated can turn into legal blindness. This vitamin also has a passion for dermatology by supporting the development of skin cells and bone tissue. He has been doing a lot of training in the immune center to prepare for this fight against Stomach Cancer. Vitamin A was quickly a hit at the immune center after helping to protect and support the growth of cell membranes to fight off infection and increase white blood cell activity.

Vitamin A’s Study:
As the crowd gathered, people began to cheer wildly as Vitamin A prepared to take on the 4^th deadliest member of the Cancers. With 800,000 reported murders this year alone, few people expected Vitamin A’s contributions in the immune center to match up with Stomach Cancer’s destructive might. Among the crowd were Swedish fight fans that began to analyze the brawl between these two titans. After spending hours of research, they began to accumulate metrics as to the effectiveness of each fighter. The most interesting of these metrics is that their study suggests that Vitamin A may reduce the likelihood of a body being overcome with Stomach Cancer by up to 44 percent! This data came about after studying 36,000 women and 45,000 men who provided data about their eating habits and how frequently they consumed certain foods. After an average of 7 years, the researchers followed up with the patients and found that 139 of them contracted Stomach Cancer. By comparing how frequently volunteers consumed foods rich in Vitamin A with the rates of Stomach Cancer, the researchers were able to determine the effectiveness of Vitamin A in combating Stomach Cancer. In this report, the researchers also state that the more common form of Vitamin A, beta carotene, possesses the same stomach cancer fighting qualities as Vitamin A. This is positive news because the body stores Vitamin A and with constant intake of Vitamin A it can reach toxic levels. Beta carotene on the other hand is water soluble which means that once you receive enough the body flushes out the excess, thereby avoiding toxic levels.

Undeniable proof Stomach Cancer sucks

Where can you find Vitamin A?
You can find foods with Vitamin A by eating things such as liver, kidney, egg yolks, and fish. Beta Carotene can be found in brightly colored fruits and vegetables like melons, carrots, red peppers, and dark leaf greens. Supplements are another great source of Vitamin A and beta carotene as the average American diet is usually deficient. With the purchase of Liquid Energy’s dietary supplements such as Biometic’s Biofuel (100%) and Biometic’s Cell Care (50%), you can receive your daily required dosage in a single drink!

- Daniells, Stephen. “VITAMIN A-Rich Diet May Halve Stomach Cancer Risk.” NutraIngredients-USA. February 15, 2007. http://www.nutraingredients-usa.com

- Supplement Watch. Supplement Library: “VITAMIN A” and “Beta Carotene.” http://www.supplementwatch.com

- European School of Oncology. “The Facts: Stomach Cancer.” http://www.cancerworld.org/mediacentre/Stomach_Cancer_Factsheet.aspx

My Liquid Energy Experience

I began using multi-vitamins around two years ago. My weapon of choice was a generic multi-vitamin from Target that my mother bought me. After 6 months, my friend told me about his father’s multi-vitamin company. I googled his dad’s company and, according to Google, it didn’t exist. My body is a temple and I do not put things in my temple that Google hasn’t heard of. That is, I didn’t until he told me that since we’re friends it would be HALF PRICE.

I began taking my new multi-vitamin the next day, laughing at the commoners who paid full price. My gleeful feeling of superiority lasted until a voyage to the restroom. In there, my eyes informed me that I was excreting a neon green colored urine. This instantly warranted a call to my “friend”. In this phone call, I accosted him with unflattering comparisons to celebrities, a questioning of sexual preferences, and overall language unfit for a country club. A few minutes later, he informed me that he did not leverage my love of savings into the perfect assassination. Apparently, when your body reaches its desired amount of water-soluble vitamins, it removes the extra nutrients from your body through radioactive waste colored urine.

Toilets beware

As an intelligent reader, I’m sure you understand the purpose of this story. Taking Liquid Energy Online products avoids damage to your health. I haphazardly took two multi-vitamins and the following occurred: an assassination attempt on my life, a damaged friendship, and urine discoloration. Six months later, I came to my senses and tried Liquid Energy Online’s AM Program.

Liquid Energy Online’s AM program consists of BioFuel, Aloe Plus, Get-N-Go Plus, and BioAlert. The company has a Google friendly website and the product was reasonably priced. I’m down. After looking at the orange-yellow color of the drink, I was fearful the product was a victim to the worst marketing mistake in history: mango flavoring. I thought, “I hope this doesn’t take like mango. I hate mangos. Who honestly thinks, ‘this is good, but with mango flavoring it could be great!’” No one, that’s who. To those readers with functional taste buds, there is absolutely no mango taste in this product! I would describe the taste but I do not have a clever analogy so you will have to purchase the product for yourself by clicking here #subtlemarketingattempt

After three sips, I finished the AM Program. Instantly, a tingly sensation took over my body. I gave my drink a look of betrayal, but the drink ignored it and continued to act like an inanimate object. The tingly sensation appeared to be the drink’s contents lowering my stress levels (probably caused by mangophobia [trademarked]) subsiding. Without mangos to bring me down, I felt energized and focused. I stopped glaring at the clock, trying to move time forward, and resumed working! Within the next hour, my productivity, which normally declines after 2 PM, increased dramatically. I became so focused on my work that I may have actually moved time forward and when I checked the clock it was almost time to go! Note: There are currently no scientific reports proving that this product will give you the power to move time forward, although there is an unscientific report (this one) that says it will. Play the numbers people.

Time flying is much creeper in person

There is no question this product is awesome, but the final test remained. Is it practical? I boldly walked into the bathroom to find out. To my delight, this product is bathroom approved! The BioCellular Micellization, which you can learn about here, caused me to absorb all the nutrients keeping me from flushing more money down the toilet. Thank you Liquid Energy!

I carry an approval stamp with me at all times